|water fasting <333
||[Dec. 30th, 2010|12:35 am]
fasting, purging, and everything in-between
Wow...... i am soooo pathethic. I read some of my entries from a while back.. and im like.... "i stiiill havent lost all this weight?" all this garbage? all this life ruining fat..? REALLY???? am i fucking serious?|
I knew I needed livejournal. I KNEW i needed you guys for me to do this. I quit for a while.. I havent been on for 6 months... i ditched. I got scared, and just ditched.
I lost some weight the kind of healthy way.. but guess what.. my ED came right back in and now im still at a high weight. Ew its grose.
I hate it.
I want my skinny face back.. my skinny legs.. my skinny gorgeous shoulders... my flat tummy... I want it. More than anything.
I have the biggest inspiration right now.. a boy.... a boy I met that lives on the other coast of me.. ahaha but.... i feel like I just like him SO much. and I want to be perfect for him... perfect. I want him to look at me and be absolutely amazed. He webcams for me... and he is SOOO ADORABLE!!! omgggg... omg SOOOOO CUTE!!!! im in loooove lol ;) but.... i STILL havent webcammed for him...... i used SO many excuses... but i cant just say IM FAT. im trying to lose weight.. ummm just wait a few weeks. I cannot say that.
Im tired of using excuses, and not letting him see me, only pictures. I WANT TO LOOK BEAUTIFUL ALL THE TIME.
for him.... for us. <3
I'm more inspired than others.. and i reallyyy want to do it with you girls :) i missed you so much...
I'm fasting until I lose 20 pounds. My goal is to be 20 pounds lighter before I can let him see me.... that will only take about 10 days fasting if i do this right :)
Whos with meee??? I will be updating every single day for you girls :) I'l weigh in tomorrow, and tell you how everything is going. ahhh IM SO EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!! :DD
Imma do this.. 20 pounds YOU WILL BE GONE!!!!!