||[Oct. 25th, 2010|02:49 am]
fasting, purging, and everything in-between
hi, i am new to this community, but i'm looking for support, and to give support. i am a binge eater. i used to be a bulimic, but then i ruined my throat and had to stop. i also used to abuse diet pills and those hurt my throat too. but boy, i was so pretty. anyway, because of the medical problems, i stopped purging, and stopped the pills, and now i just binge eat. i eat like 5000 a day. i went from 120 to 160 in a single year. in june i was 130. i don't know what is happening to me. i'm hungry all the time, and i crave food, and want to eat it until i vomit it out and my body can't contain it. i look ill and very strange, since i am clearly not meant to be fat. i am so embarrassed and ashamed of what i've become. i'm 5'3'' which means i'm 20 pounds overweight. i would like to be 115 in a perfect world. |
i can't exercise besides walking and yoga because i have herniated discs. i know what to eat, but of course instead i eat whole large pizzas and chocolate cakes. i am addicted to food. without purging and meds, i can't control it. i'm so lost. i ordered the meds again, and am going for laxatives until the adipex arrives, and hopefully drinking enough water will will not hurt my throat. i know i shouldn't but i'm desperate and i hate myself so much. does anyone here struggle with binge eating? how do you cope?