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fasting, purging, and everything in-between

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water fasting <333 [Dec. 30th, 2010|12:35 am]
fasting, purging, and everything in-between
Wow...... i am soooo pathethic. I read some of my entries from a while back.. and im like.... "i stiiill havent lost all this weight?" all this garbage? all this life ruining fat..? REALLY???? am i fucking serious?

I knew I needed livejournal. I KNEW i needed you guys for me to do this. I quit for a while.. I havent been on for 6 months... i ditched. I got scared, and just ditched.

I lost some weight the kind of healthy way.. but guess what.. my ED came right back in and now im still at a high weight. Ew its grose.

I hate it.

I want my skinny face back.. my skinny legs.. my skinny gorgeous shoulders... my flat tummy... I want it. More than anything.

I have the biggest inspiration right now.. a boy.... a boy I met that lives on the other coast of me.. ahaha but.... i feel like I just like him SO much. and I want to be perfect for him... perfect. I want him to look at me and be absolutely amazed. He webcams for me... and he is SOOO ADORABLE!!! omgggg... omg SOOOOO CUTE!!!! im in loooove lol ;) but.... i STILL havent webcammed for him...... i used SO many excuses... but i cant just say IM FAT. im trying to lose weight.. ummm just wait a few weeks. I cannot say that.

Im tired of using excuses, and not letting him see me, only pictures. I WANT TO LOOK BEAUTIFUL ALL THE TIME.
for him.... for us. <3

I'm more inspired than others.. and i reallyyy want to do it with you girls :) i missed you so much...

I'm fasting until I lose 20 pounds. My goal is to be 20 pounds lighter before I can let him see me.... that will only take about 10 days fasting if i do this right :)


Whos with meee??? I will be updating every single day for you girls :) I'l weigh in tomorrow, and tell you how everything is going. ahhh IM SO EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!! :DD

Imma do this.. 20 pounds YOU WILL BE GONE!!!!!
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struggles [Dec. 7th, 2010|04:02 pm]
fasting, purging, and everything in-between
hey, so im not really too sure how to use this site...but it caught my interest when i was looking up tips for better purging methods.
im anorexic and have been that way for about a year but now i find im starting to binge and purge and i really want to stop and just go back to "resticting".

anyone have any advice?

thanks :)

height-5'3 and a half
high weight-135 lbs
low weight-91 lbs
current weight-94 lbs
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(no subject) [Oct. 25th, 2010|02:49 am]
fasting, purging, and everything in-between

hi, i am new to this community, but i'm looking for support, and to give support. i am a binge eater. i used to be a bulimic, but then i ruined my throat and had to stop. i also used to abuse diet pills and those hurt my throat too. but boy, i was so pretty. anyway, because of the medical problems, i stopped purging, and stopped the pills, and now i just binge eat. i eat like 5000 a day. i went from 120 to 160 in a single year. in june i was 130. i don't know what is happening to me. i'm hungry all the time, and i crave food, and want to eat it until i vomit it out and my body can't contain it. i look ill and very strange, since i am clearly not meant to be fat. i am so embarrassed and ashamed of what i've become. i'm 5'3'' which means i'm 20 pounds overweight. i would like to be 115 in a perfect world.

i can't exercise besides walking and yoga because i have herniated discs. i know what to eat, but of course instead i eat whole large pizzas and chocolate cakes. i am addicted to food. without purging and meds, i can't control it. i'm so lost. i ordered the meds again, and am going for laxatives until the adipex arrives, and hopefully drinking enough water will will not hurt my throat. i know i shouldn't but i'm desperate and i hate myself so much. does anyone here struggle with binge eating? how do you cope?
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Vitamin suggestions! [Oct. 20th, 2010|01:40 pm]
fasting, purging, and everything in-between


Hey girls!

Planning to go to holland and barrett (vitamin/supplement store) cause theyre having a sale on right now. I currently only take a mulrivitamin with iron. However, im looking for supplements that would help for the following things:

- boost metabolism/ promote fat loss
- give me more energy
- help with my anaemia
- maybe even help with the red dots ive had forever on my arms and legs, apparently its a deficiency?

If anyone has any suggestions or advice please let me know, or tell me what you take! Thanks :) xxx

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

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Lets start again shall we... [Oct. 8th, 2010|12:23 am]
fasting, purging, and everything in-between

How many times have I actually tried this now and failed, only to return to the site six months later on a brand new user name for a fresh new start. Well I am back at university now and that means its time for me to gain back the control that I need. so hopefully by posting daily updates on here I can actually stick to it this time and reach the goals that I have had set for me for two years now... two and a half years I have been both ana and mia, switching between the two... sigh.

I use to have thinspo penpals but they disappeared, just sort of stopped writing for no reason, I guess I would like to have that again, have a penpal who will keep me motivated and vice versa...

so lets see I start of as 9 stone 3 pounds first goal for christmas... 8 stone 3 pounds... lets see if I can actually do this.
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New [Oct. 8th, 2010|01:08 am]
fasting, purging, and everything in-between

[Current Location |United Kingdom, Derry]
[Current Mood |sadsad]

Hi , i just joined this community and hope to get some support. Before my bulimia started i was 75 kg /165 lbs! ;/, i lost weight, so one month ago i was 55 kg / 121 lbs. Of course im a fat pig , so i started to eat eat eat, and now i weight 58 kg / 128 lbs ;/;/;/. Im mad at myself, i cant look in a mirror anymore, what i see is a fat , ugly monster looking back at me and laughing in my face. I said STOP!, by the end of the month i want to be 52 kg / 114 lbs. I know thats gonna be hard , but with the help of fasting anything is possible. I was wondering if theres anybody who wants to fast with me for a week??? If yes plase leave a comment <3 Thanks <3

Current weight - 128 lbs
Highest weight - 165 lbs
Lowest weight - 121 lbs
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theres still hope.... its never gone. [Aug. 22nd, 2010|03:58 pm]
fasting, purging, and everything in-between
We diet. We starve. We binge. We break. We die.

Is that want you want for the rest of your life.....?

HOW many months ago did you tell yourself THAT was the day? the day where you were going to change EVERYTHING.. how many times did you repeat those days... how many times have you tried...? weeks? months? years?

Years for me. YEARS.

I'm still a fat ass. still a fucking pig.

Tomorrow is Monday... the beg of the week. I am starting a 10 day fast... yes i have never went past day 3 BUT i have more control then ever right now. EVER.

I know.. we all know we've all said that again but I feel like i seriously can this time. I might be able to lose 20 pounds..!! :D

If i really try.... really really try(:

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First Post.... [Aug. 18th, 2010|06:31 pm]
fasting, purging, and everything in-between

I had ana in high school and then I don't know what happened in college. I started my ana again this month and have high hopes.

1) High Weight: 178
2) Low Weight: 110
3) Now Weight: 167
4) !st Goal Weight: 150
5) 2nd Goal Weight: 130
6) 3rd Goal Weight: 115 (By New Years)
7) then hopefully 110 again

I want to post my stats every week to encourage myself and to see them in comparison to other stats... because if you can do it so can I! I really want my first goal by the end of the month because that would be a good birthday present, but I think it may happen early to mid September instead. I have been a member of this community for a while, I just didn't have the courage (or time) to post. I am actually posting at work right now. I have lost over 10 lbs thus far this month and I think if I try hard I could take another 10 off. I have been living off small breakfast and salad for lunch and no dinner if I can skip it without people noticing (Like Tonight!). I always make sure that I never get past 900 calories in one day and to exercise at least 30 minutes each morning. I hate exercising but, it helps hide the ana from my boyfriend.  I want to be down to 130 by Halloween, if not less than that. I feel disgusting now and have a ton of clothes that don't fit. I really don't want to buy new clothes haha. I even bought a small lunch box so that I can't fit more than what I should be eating.

Good luck to all of you & Wish me luck too!

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from a size 8 to a size 0 [Aug. 10th, 2010|12:32 pm]
fasting, purging, and everything in-between



the first page has her before and after photos and the second has all of the episodes of how she went from a size 8 to a size 0 and was able to fit into teenager clothing...  just loved it. anyone else have ana movies or anything?
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competition [Aug. 9th, 2010|04:28 pm]
fasting, purging, and everything in-between

on my website right now go check it out!!!

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